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Netizens Share Hilarious ways Kenyan Officials Demand Bribes

bribes

It’s Mutahi Ngunyi who once quipped that corruption should be considered a factor of production in Kenya alongside traditional land, labour, capital, and enterprise.

Giving and accepting bribes is one type of corruption that has been going on for some time now.

Yet, as with any other illegal trade, those seeking bribes have found a way to ask for payola.

Recently, popular Facebook blogger Wahome Thuku asked his followers to share at what point they realised they were being asked to give a bribe.

“Alikwambia nini ukajua ni bribe anataka?” (What did they tell you, and did it hit you that they wanted a bribe?)

Here are some of the replies to the post.

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Mwangi Mwai: Mm alituuliza swali…ati ndovu anaishi wapi?…wale walisema kwa msitu hawakusaidika. Lakini Mimi nikafikiria ndovu ni nini nikasema kwa mfuko. Nilimpea hiyo thao mambo yangu ikaflow.

Sirorei Ronald: “Sasa sijui wewe utasaidika kivipi lakini kuna vile naweza nikakusaidia, si unajua mkono mtupu haulambwi.”

Benson Ngugi: Askari traffic, “jipige kiboko”

Wa Cucu: “Sisi wazee ata ukituona barabarani tukisimamisha magari na kukagua matairi, driving licence kama iko sawa, kwa kioo kucheck sticker na insurance kama iko sawa “hatukuli lami”

Jacob Cog: Hii kitu unataka inaeza kaa adi next month. But ukiwa na haraka Kuna vile tunaeza fanya itoke leo hii. Lakini iyo lazima mkubwa aonwe Kando.

Ndungu Harun: “Itakuwa ngumu, but unajua hakuna kitu ngumu kutatua.”

“Hakuna kitu ngumu kutatua” means money.

Anthony Elam: Unajua hii Kenya ni yetu na inafaa tupendane.

Mary Kigwa: “Madam hii ni kitu inahitaji signatures mingi kutoka kwa wakubwa. Sijui utasaidikaje.”

Kanja Mburu: At police recruitment, “Niko kiu enda uniletee maji”…pumbafu nikaendea maji, nilichekwa vibaya sana nikitafutia mkubwa maji apo mtaa.

Mary Wambui Mwangi: “Pale JKIA kwa immigration desk, wueh!”

The guy told me mbona huyo agent wako hajui kuongea na watu vizuri.

Mwambi aniongeleshe poa kama anataka utravel…

And we had to cough up a few dollars.

READ ALSO: Corporal Mjinga: Story of Kenyan Cop Shamed for Refusing Bribe

Felix Anaswa: “Ni venye hujui kuongea kama mtu mkubwa bure hii issue yako ni dakika tu na uende nyumbani, ndio hii number yangu ukiwa ready kuongea kama mtu mzima niflash tu mwenyewe nitatoka nje ama ukiamua kulala kwa line pia ni sawa”

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