Fun
How ‘Tunasongaa Na Muchina… Hakuna Kunuka Moshi’ Became Ol Kalou’s Funniest Election Joke
There are songs that entertain. There are songs that inspire. Then there are songs that should be arrested before they acquire innocent victims.
I met one such criminal on July 17, shortly after the Ol Kalou by-election results that saw Douglas Waweru Kamau announced as the winner after garnering 35K votes.
It arrived smiling. What’s more, it wore colourful kangas. It danced with scandalous confidence.
Then, without knocking, it marched into my head and occupied it like a stubborn squatter.
“Hakuna kunuka Moshi! Tunasonga… Tunasonga na Muchina… Tunasonga mbele…”
By lunchtime I was humming it.
What’s more, by supper I was negotiating with it.
By the following morning, after the video of singing women went viral, we had become permanent roommates.
The women smiled knowingly, fully aware that it was merely a performance intended to captivate UDA’s Muchina Nyaga.
They swayed effortlessly in front of neatly arranged rows of gas cylinders and various campaign merchandise, exuding a quiet confidence that suggested they had successfully captivated the politicians.
A Medical Emergency
I tried escaping it. It followed me into tea hotels.
A man stirring tea whistled it. A boda boda rider delivered it free of charge as he sped past.
A tomato vendor sang it while weighing onions.
Even a skipping schoolgirl seemed suspiciously in rhythm.
By July 19, I had developed what future medical journals may classify as Acute Campaign Chorus Syndrome.
Symptoms included involuntary humming, spontaneous foot-tapping and an irresistible urge to end ordinary conversations with “Tunasonga mbele”.
“How much is the cabbage?”
“Fifty bob… tunasonga mbele.”
Sleep offered no sanctuary.
The chorus arrived before dreams did.
On July 18, I woke, convinced my ceiling fan had joined the campaign team.
Even the neighbourhood goats seemed to chew their cud in perfect rhythm. Only cows, bless their professionalism, remained politically neutral.
I recovered when I learnt more about Ol Kalou’s past, which began in the 1970s and continues to date.
The Great Ol Kalou Secret
But Ol Kalou has long understood something political strategists never fully grasp.
Campaigns happen in public. Voting happens in private.
The locals have a saying: a politician’s money belongs to the people.
The vote belongs to God, the conscience and that tiny cardboard booth where campaign managers cannot follow.
A voter will shake your hand with both hands.
Wear your cap.
Dance until dust rises.
Eat your lunch.
Carry your shopping bag.
Smile for your campaign photographer.
Senator Joe Nyutu: Saying margins do not matter is ridiculous. President Ruto is the party leader of the UDA and when he lost in Ol Kalou’ that was a statement against the President #CitizenDayBreak pic.twitter.com/AlBM8rrhWl
— Citizen TV Kenya (@citizentvkenya) July 23, 2026
Then quietly disappear behind the ballot box and perform an act of electoral betrayal so elegant that even Shakespeare might have demanded writing credits.
Perhaps politicians should stop underestimating the Kenyan voter.
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The old masters of political craftiness may have met worthy apprentices.
The Ol Kalou voter has perfected an ancient art: applauding loudly while thinking privately.
As a politician, and with the 2027 poll approaching, be wary of the man dancing in the front row.
He may already be rehearsing your concession speech.
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