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Hilarious but messy life of carefree bachelor

Our Fun article contributor today is George Mwaniki, an intern in one of the leading media houses in Kenya. He delves into the challenges of bachelorhood by invoking a rather hilarious perspective.

A joke goes that show me a man who does what he wants, and I’ll show you a bachelor. But just what are some of the freedoms enjoyed by a typical bachelor?

The first freedom concerns existing on a funny diet. Bachelors know about omlette and rice. What’s more, if it’s chicken and chips then he can chew the bones and even let the juices run down his chin.

After all, no one will stare or complain about his lack of manners. And if by any chance the chicken remains, he can push it in the fridge and work on it the following day- call it primitive ravaging!

In the same vein, one can spontaneously do pushups, crunches, et cetera with the same gusto as legendary martial artist Bruce Lee.

This means the push ups are done on the living room floor, on the sofa set, on the kitchen floor as eggs fry on a mottling pan.

And about insomnia; it is a huge problem to most bachelors. A good number of bachelors cry inability to fall asleep before midnight only to wake up two hours later.

If you’re a bachelor and neither a night runner nor a night watchman, the best thing to do is to wake up and court sleep by reading a few pages of a book or still visit some blogs.

Now you know why many a bachelors know a lot about news and world affairs but can’t explain the molding dishes in their kitchen.

Also, being a bachelolor is itself an opportunity to recycle dirty shirts and trousers-no problem if workmates complain you smell like a he goat.

Tuning yourself on clothes ‘remix’ mode and the resulting stench will get folks into reminding you how badly you need a home keeper (read wife).

But in the meantime, it is not a bad idea to do at least one load of laundry a month- of course of eight pair of trousers and ten shirts!

Well, about the moldering dishes? Let them be. This means you can clean a moldering sufuria of ugali a week later.

Worry not when cockroaches and rodents find a permanent habitat in your home, remember, they neither till nor plough-and you being their master have no reason to starve them.

As a matter of advice, you can often take a tour of the kitchen and marvel at your ability to balance one moldering dish upon another. Pure bliss!

We welcome writers to become a part of contributors on this section. Send your fun article to [email protected]

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